The first to present his case seems right,
till another comes forward and questions him.
—Proverbs 18:17
Have you noticed that it’s always someone else’s fault when things go wrong?
It isn’t deliberate dishonesty; it’s just that we look at mess-ups defensively.
Eugene Peterson paraphrases Proverbs 18:17 this way: “The first speech in a court case is always convincing—until the cross-examination starts!”
When you’re up to your eyeballs in conflict, it’s time for cross-examination. And it’s best if you do it yourself. Drop the inflexible “I’m right, and you’re wrong” posture and objectively examine your position side-by-side with that of the other person.
You may be right. Or maybe not.
No three words are harder to say—and none exhibit greater character—than these: “I was wrong.”
If you are always—uncompromisingly—right,
conflict is inevitable.